Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Firsts

The first time doing anything is scary – well, for me anyway.  Starting a new job, moving to a new state, meeting someone for the first time… it all makes the butterflies in my stomach do flips as my heart tries to lurch out of my body via my throat. 

It’s a good thing this isn’t my first blog post, my first blog or anything close to my first anything! I have had  another blog for about a year and a half (check it out here) but I’m getting bored with that one.  Not to mention Blogger messed up my header and I can’t stand the look of it!  Falling Apart Nicely got me through a lot – it got me to here, where I could have sworn I wanted to be.  It was a lot of whining and complaining about the monotony of life in Connecticut.  I have higher hopes for SA&PT! I want this to be my coming of age, although Wikipedia has coming of age defined as this and I feel like I’ve been there and done all that! I mostly want this to be about finding myself, figuring out what the hell I want to do with my time left wandering this earth, finally getting around to decorating my sparsely decorated and barely lived in apartment, perhaps working on myself physically and working on my wardrobe (I’ll need help with this! I have the fashion sense of a two-year old!) in the meantime.  Maybe, while I’m at it, I can find a little self-confidence and a little self esteem.  Believing in yourself is more than half the battle.  The problem is, well, I have a hard time believing in myself which, in turn, means I’m lacking in the self confidence and self esteem area of my life…

So, if you’ve found this blog, join me in the quest to improve me, to perhaps be a little more selfish (in the good ways) as I become a better and happier human (that should be easy to do with Chelsea Handler as my current role model – Ha! Seriously love Chelsea Lately).


A Little History.
I am a new 27, the youngest of three girls in my family and learned a lot about what I know of life from the backseat, because of my sister’s mistakes and missteps.  They despise when I say this (it’s kind of my line) claiming they made no mistakes.  Dating a guy that hands you a business card for his drug dealing business with his real name followed by “AKA Tylenol” qualifies as a mistake to me! Calling him would have been a mistake! Uh! Hello?!? He has a business card for an illegal business! The cops are gonna be all over that shit! I know that being friends with all guys means you like the attention from them and feel insecure.  Yet, with all these lessons I learned from their missteps, they’re both married (or well on their way) and I am forever single (something else to work on!) So yes, I learned a lot second hand. That may have left me a little sheltered but also slightly less damaged.

My childhood was far from normal.  I have lived in over 30 places in my 27 years.  I have given up trying to count and figure out the order in which we lived in what houses.  It’s hopeless.  My parents fought…and I don’t mean yelling!  I witnessed things that no child should ever see.  What I saw growing up damaged me in ways I couldn’t have prevented.  Perhaps this is why I consider myself forever single?

I recently left Brookfield, CT (the only town I ever considered home) to allow myself the freedom to find myself. I moved to sunny Naples, Florida.  I know, I know. Old people and cancer – YAY!  But really, life is pretty great – most of the time.  I haven’t quite found my niche down here yet.  Life gets pretty quiet and I sometimes (only sometimes) miss the drama and chaos of life up North. I am a nanny for a two and a half year old girl and one of the coolest families in the continental US.  I spend a lot of time at the beach working on my tan (almost guaranteeing wrinkles and melanoma later in life – it will all be worth it!) and reading books. 

I am the furthest thing from a girlie-girl, but I’m not a tomboy.  I’m not a fan of dresses but clean up pretty well.  I have a new found obsession with Essie Nail Polish (my favorite being Topless & Barefoot).  I don’t believe in love at first sight, but lust at first sight is worth pursuing, it may just lead to something great. You’d think I’d be singing a different tune after the heartbreaks I’ve suffered after such pursuits. 

I like to drink – I’m not picky. Red wine, tequila, rum, beer, shots, mixed drinks, on the rocks… it’s all game.  I don’t drink too often (anymore) but when I do I’m out to have a good time.  I’ve been known to end up on tables, dancing in sprinklers (along main roads in 50 degree weather) and if it weren’t for the pictures I wouldn’t believe these stories. Did I forget to mention that I am absolutely ADDICTED to taking pictures?  Yes? Well, let me tell you, I’m absolutely ADDICTED to taking pictures! My friends (back in CT cause I have no friends in FL) always hate that I’m constantly taking pictures but it never fails, a few months later they come to me begging for them!  They’re grateful – it just takes them awhile to realize it. 

In my spare time I like to read, write, sleep, take pictures, hang out with friends.  I’m a kick-a$$ poker player *that just might be a little over the top but I hold my own with all the boys!*. I’m always up for a little Texas Hold ‘Em. I want a dog in the worst way – but I’m brk. What’s that you ask? That’s ‘broke’ without the vowels… I don’t have enough money to buy them! HA! I barely have enough money for me, my apartment and my car right now.  I’m thinking I’m going to have to take on a second (and perhaps a third) job to make ends meet and save something for emergencies. I’m often accused of laughing too loud and talking too much.  If you have a problem with any of this… you’re a terrible human!

I feel that I’m already off to a better start with this blog than the last one (and the one before that… and the one before that!).  I’m hoping I can keep this one light and airy, fun, sarcastic and entertaining.  God knows there’s enough crap happening in my life to keep you laughing!

I’d LOVE to hear from you! Suggestions, questions, comments, even criticism, bring it!!

That’s all for now =)
~Beth

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